Almonds have nipples?

I'm allergic to dairy.  I suddenly developed an allergy when I was 19 and my doctor at the time couldn't figure out what was going on with me.  We did a few thousand dollars worth of tests until I ran out of money, but it never crossed anyone's mind to do an allergy test.  I figured it out through an elimination diet a couple of years ago and things have been a bit easier for me ever since.  Some consider this a simple intolerance, but it's not just lactose.  Even Lactaid caused issues with me.  We'll find out for sure in a few weeks when my insurance kicks in and I can go to a doctor for the first time in years.

When I say it's made my life a bit easier, I mean I have to scrutinize every morsel of food before devouring it.  Eating home-cooked meals made by someone else can be quite hellish.  I'm not being snobby; I'm trying to be polite by not allowing my bowels to explode all over your guest bathroom.

I have found a lot of dairy alternatives.  I don't particularly like soy milk.  Almond milk is a little bitter and coconut milk is a bit too sweet.  Dream Blend's Cashew Almond Hazelnut is my favorite.  Of all the things made with bovine bodily fluids, I miss cheese the most.  Some fake cheeses are like powdered salty cardboard, but I've found Daiya has a few tasty alternatives.  I like ordering a slice of the vegan pizza at Whole Foods (when they have it) and asking them to add some bacon or pepperoni.

Coconut milk yogurt is fabulous.  It's ridiculously expensive, but it's tasty as hell.  Oh, and some of those non-dairy frozen desserts that closely resemble ice cream are scrumdiddlyumptious.

I still haven't found a decent boxed mac and cheese mix that's edible without mixing in other foods to disguise the flavor.  Throw some suggestions at me, folks.  I'm at the point where I'd club a baby seal to get that cheesy goodness.