I don't particularly like baby showers. Due to my new-mom-itis, I allowed family to throw baby showers before my oldest, Kaiya, was born, but I didn't particularly enjoy them. Granted, I was appreciative of all the gifts, the food, and the effort made, but the rest of it was just pretty bleh. Loads of people trying to impress their opinions about birth and child rearing upon a expectant mother, along with making jokes about how fat she's become. I've encountered comments like this at baby showers:
"Oh I know you said you were going to TRY to breastfeed, but here are some bottles for when you come to your senses" I sighed and rolled my eyes.
"I bought some diamond earrings for when you get the baby's ears pierced. The doctor can do it for you." No. No. No!
"I only bought a gift for one baby. You look like you're having twins!" The expectant mom almost cried.
"I bought you some gauze and Vaseline for after his circumcision. Snip snip, hahahaha!" I almost vomited, then wanted to cut a skank.
"Here are some earplugs for when you let your baby learn to soothe herself." I wanted to slap someone.
"Don't let that baby ruin your life. It's going to try to manipulate you for her own benefit."
"I can already tell you'll have to get a c-section because you're little"
"Anyone who says they're going all-natural is crazy. You'll learn."
See, baby showers invoke a violent response in people like me. Still, my bestest friend is having one this weekend and I'm going. It's not supposed to be your usual baby shower, one with a keg and a bluegrass band, but I'm sure the mainstream mommies will show up with their impassioned cries for "me time", rice cereal, epidurals, and sleep training. This is the reason why I have no friends with kids.
I'm going to one next week and I think it will be low key and fun. I'm bringing my henna kit and I'm going to henna her belly. Then we're having a cook out and bonfire and she's making her famous jello shots. That's my kind of baby shower.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a baby shower and I'm glad. The restaurant I work at allows people to rent out our sun room for parties and baby showers seem to be the biggest hit. Its weird to watch and I always feel like pulling the new mama aside and going "Hey, look - trust yourself, smile and nod, remember that simple is best." And then hugging her and telling her she's awesome and beautiful - is it just me or do most featured moms at baby showers look a little ashamed and bewildered?
ReplyDeleteSee, I love baby showers, I love the sweet decorations and fun finger foods. I enjoy the cheesy games and swapping diaper pins so I can cross my legs. I see baby showers as chance for me to try and counter the main stream mommies there. I can support the breast feeding and cloth diapers. I back up her choice for a natural birth and will gladly explain to guests that opinions are like assholes, that while everyone has them no one wants to hear them. I run interference. Besides, I am obsessed with preggo bellies and at baby showers no one usually minds you feeling there fetus globe up! A funny story though: when I had my first born, it was common knowledge that I was going to breastfeed, but my dad's side of the family missed the memo (see ignored). Someone bought me a set of nipple brushes for bottles, but half of my shower guests (knowing I was breastfeeding) thought they were for MY nipples. It was really funny to see the offenders face beet red with shame when she realized everyone else was supporting my decision! I do get what you are saying though. But since I have never really cared what people think of me, I have always used it as a chance to be an advocate for the other side. The truth is, people need to just be quiet and support the mom, whatever her choices are. Isn't raising kids hard enough?
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